You wouldn’t believe it, the singer says. There she was gearing up for her first album release in eight years, ecstatically in love with her current love, and finally the mother of a toddler after dealing with conception issues for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in March she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The musician, actual name Jess Cornish, is known for being brutally honest. The album, her latest release, was supposed to be an candid account, tackling every bit of hardship she’d experienced since she last recorded music (endometrial issues, miscarriage, broken romances, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The first single, the song No Secrets, was dropped in April. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. Her diagnosis. Then follow-up track, her song Living My Best Life, was released in May and Cornish was talking to press about how she was living her best life, while all the while living with her cancer. Subsequently she disclosed her condition, and in early July she had a mastectomy.
She gives me her best “What the fuck?” expression. “I release with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they ask, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I answer, ‘Well, not much…’” she has just had to call off performances because she’s still waiting for cosmetic procedures.
Our interview takes place at a studio in London. She is sporting a light brown synthetic jacket, jeans with ornate white designs, cream boots and large glasses. Picture biker chic meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a man with facial hair.” Like the film, I say, recalling the movie. “They used to call me that!” She grins. She is quick, irreverent and filter-free. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her initial standup show next year. “I enjoy humor. On stage I frequently joke about the crowd.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
The artist was preparing for an performance at the awards show when she discovered a mass. “I promptly visited to get it examined, had an test, and they said, ‘It appears fine; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and tingling in my hands whenever I wake up.’ And they replied, ‘How about a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the post-birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was bad news she’d call on the start of the week. By then the singer had convinced herself it was nothing. The way she explains it, it was inopportune to face illness when she had a busy schedule.
“It was a fortnight prior from debuting the project after years away and no new music. And she contacted me and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I assumed, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I jump on the Zoom thinking it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘You might want to sit.’ The solemn tone? And she continues, ‘Unfortunately but your test results have shown malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I answered, ‘That’s unfortunate. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She viewed the procedure terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They lead you. In urgent cases you roll down in a bed, but this time I just walked with a gown on and my backside out. Like a dystopian scene.” But, she adds, she’s been fortunate. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but however Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened recently and my right breast now resembles a odd shape.” Another grin. “At least the nipple remains.”
The next operation is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her chest, she observes, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. How rude! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a rough time. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. Illness changed that.”
Past Medical Issues
Cornish is accustomed to medical issues. She feels her perspective on the cancer has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in medical emergencies. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, functioning as a wake-up call, or blow, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘Things going well? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has always gone alongside high points for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”
She takes me back to her 11-year-old self, already starting her career performing in the London theater in the production (she was cast at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue WPW, which can cause a tachycardia as well as lightheadedness and palpitations. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She skips forward half a dozen years, and teenage Jess has become part of the trio Soul Deep while enrolled in the academy. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was planning to release songs in the year 2020 I had a car crash and my throat was injured and I lost my voice for a long period.”
Hey, I say, wait, I am overwhelmed. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
